This weekend marks the official start of Couch Potato Season.

Couch Potato Season kicks off at noon on the first Saturday following the last calendar day of summer. It is, of course, nothing more than a coincidence that Couch Potato Season happens to coincide with the nonstop airing, and re-airing of hundreds of college and professional football games. Although some argue that Couch Potato Season begins the first weekend after Labor Day, in actuality the first three weekends in September are generally regarded as the Couch Potato Season preseason, training camp if you will.

The main objective during the couch potato preseason is to prepare the couch for what lies ahead (you). This can involve moving it, testing it in various positions to make sure it still fits, searching it for loose change and/or leftovers and dealing with any stains from last season.

Obviously, the cleanup aspect is more involved if you are a Patriots fan because your team tends to go farther into the postseason, not to mention the annual excitement of playing in the Super Bowl. Historic fourth-quarter comebacks can be so messy. (OK, sorry, I’ll stop now.)

Once the couch is positioned, adjusted and brought up to standard, the matter of the television must be addressed. Without television, the couch potato, or sofa jock, would be reduced to pursuing such activities as household repairs, interacting with family members, spending a perfectly good autumn afternoon outdoors. (Oh, the horror, right?)

In most cases all that needs to be done in regard to the television is to move it so that it affords optimal viewing from the couch. While this may appear to be a simple task, it can be tricky, particularly when taking into consideration the ever-changing angles of the fall sun. It cannot be emphasized enough how important it is to avoid the tragedy of midgame glare.

If not having already done so, this is also a good time to assess one’s television. No matter how new your set, it can always be upgraded. In fact, I don’t believe there is a television in existence that cannot be taken to a new level. When considering an upgrade, the most important thing to keep in mind is that it is not possible to buy a flat screen TV that is too large. Walls may be too small, but the television is never too large.

Despite the negative connotations, Couch Potato Season can be physically grueling. Not only does the dedicated sofa jock have to deal with a full lineup of football games, but also the intersection of other sports, as well. In baseball, the pennant races are winding up and post-season is about to begin. At the same time, the hockey and NBA preseasons are also underway. There is also a growing audience for soccer, although for the life of me I don’t know why.

To meet the demands of the grueling season, it is necessary for the sofa jock to be in shape. Fortunately, round is a shape. Avoiding any and all forms of exercise is not only the key to achieving a couch-potato-ready physique, but also preventing injury. Studies show that people who avoid exercise limp less.

As for diet, the dedicated sofa jock should adhere to the four food groups: Buffalo wings, barbecue wings, smoked wings and orange-glazed wings.

And be sure to chug plenty of fluids.

Jim Shea is a lifelong Connecticut resident and journalist who believes the keys to life include the avoidance of physical labor and I-95. He can be reached at jimboshea@gmail.com and on Twitter @jimboshea.