Musings & Observations / Barry Halpin
Once again Dr. Trendy, life coach extraordinaire, has taken time off from his very busy schedule to respond to some of the many cards and letters he receives from people looking for counsel through life's decisions and conflicts, trying to make sense of things in a world that seems more and more out of sync every day.
I met this guy on the Internet and instantly I had a feeling I hadn't had in years. I felt so alive talking to him -- we were in total sync -- a cyber mind-meld. I've never had so much in common with another human being. It was kismet!
I called all my girlfriends to tell them I met the Perfect Guy on the Internet and they proceeded to tell me that there was no such thing as the Perfect Guy, especially on the Internet. They reminded me I had said the same thing about my ex-husband when I first met him and probably about 100 other guys as well. I knew they were jealous.
We arranged to meet at this romantic little French bistro in the city. He said I would recognize him by the red rose he would be holding in his teeth. All of a sudden the unthinkable happened. In walked my ex-husband with a red rose in his teeth. I ran out of the restaurant, screaming. Did I overreact? Does he deserve a second chance? Am I still in love with him? He looked fabulous! -- In A Love Dilemma
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Dear Love Dilemma:
Oh, the ironies of life and love. Ex-schmex, sounds like you never stopped loving the guy. It's been said, "Love is lovelier the second time around." Who am I to disagree? Remember, perfect is in the eye of the beholder. Even though you may be a bit bleary-eyed looking at your computer screen for a love connection, cyber mind-melds are something to be reckoned with. Seize the cyber moment!
Our daughter is brilliant and we are considering sending her to the Albert Einstein Pre-School, which is a haven for brilliant, precocious but nerdy pre-schoolers. She has an IQ of 160, understands the Theory of Relativity, reads Nietzsche, totally gets microeconomics and is fluent in Mandarin Chinese.
We want to nurture her skills in the proper environment but don't want to predispose her to becoming a nerd. What should we do? -- No Nerds In The Family
Dear No Nerds:
Why worry? Ex-nerds control the technology world and many have made their first million before the age of 21. Their early social awkwardness and pathetic shyness might have been a handicap at one time but not any more. When you're a technology guru, your once nerdy qualities are no longer an issue. For all intents and purposes you're a rock star!
We couldn't go on having our kids despise us because we are old-fashioned fuddy-duddies, out of touch with the happening things of the 21st century. Therefore, we have joyously embraced the hip hop culture. Our pants sag just right, we wear lots of bling, we souped up our ride -- a 2013 Mercedes-Benz 550 -- and stopped going to our friends' garden parties. We've also fallen in love with texting. Unfortunately it all seems to have backfired as our kids are now preppies and our neighbors refuse to speak to us. Help! -- The Befuddled Rodmans
The problem lies in the fact that you are messing with the natural order in the universe by trying to get your kids to like you by being like them. This will never work. The most embarrassing thing in the world is to have a parent who is hipper than you. This causes shame and mass confusion in teenagers.
Wise up Befuddled Rodmans! Apologize to your neighbors and friends and go back to your sedate garden parties and leave rebellion to the young. The alternative is to be sent to the home for the terminally adolescent.
Dear Wise One:
What in the world has happened to the human race? I honestly can't believe the way our society is behaving these days. I can't watch the news; it's way too depressing. -- Terribly Confused
Dear Terribly Confused:
You no doubt have heard of the Me Generation. Well, if you thought that was the height of selfishness and bad behavior, we've gone one better except on a worldwide basis and become the Me Not You Generation. The world is in the throes of a horrible case of the Terrible Twos, a universal temper tantrum. What the world needs now is love, which by the way is a great Hal David/Burt Bacharach song, first recorded by Jackie DeShannon in 1965.
Barry Halpin can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.